


Disneyland Closes, Legs Open (Elon Musk x Ben Shapiro

by elons_goth_tiddies



Category: Disney - All Media Types, 賭ケグルイ | Kakegurui (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ben Shapiro - Freeform, Elon Musk - Freeform, Gay, M/M, Multi, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Spicy, Titfuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28609923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elons_goth_tiddies/pseuds/elons_goth_tiddies
Summary: Elon Musket is a prostitute/anime maid at Disneyland and has a spicy relationship with Ben diShaprio as Mickey Mouse.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Disneyland Closes

**Author's Note:**

> This story is available with the prologue and edited illustrations on Wattpad here https://www.wattpad.com/996719124-disneyland-closes-legs-open-elon-musk-x-ben

Elon Musk was on closing duty. In his Minnie Mouse anime maid costume, he wandered Disneyland to shut off all the lights and close the rides. Anime maids frequented Disneyland to bring back some hype after Chris Pratt's arson tantrum due to his character being announced as bisexual without his consent.

Elon liked being on closing duty because he was finally alone. He could smoke weed while walking around because it made Disneyland look like even more of an LSD trip than it already did.

He could smoke weed while walking around because it made Disneyland look like even more of an LSD trip than it already did  
As he was trying a new weed trick by shoving the roll up his ass, he heard a distant yell.

"CHECKMATE LIBERALS!"

The hot, sexy nasal voice called to him like a mating cry. He ravaged through the park, searching for this enticing voice. As he daintily went zoom zoom throughout the park, his maid dress swished in the late-night breeze. He felt like a pretty princess on her way to her prince charming.

Out of the blue, he yelped as he tripped over a child who'd been chained to the rusty creaking rails of the Thomas the Tank Engine ride.

Out of the blue, he yelped as he tripped over a child who'd been chained to the rusty creaking rails of the Thomas the Tank Engine ride  
He lost his shoe from the fall! It got caught on the poor girl's massive tatas of terror. Despite the distraught over the loss of his favourite maid shoes, Elon couldn't help but blush from the euphoria of being the Cinderella of his own fairy tale.

He thought he could rescue his shoe, but it was sinking deeper and deeper, like quicksand, into the girl's honka honkas.

He thought he could rescue his shoe, but it was sinking deeper and deeper, like quicksand, into the girl's honka honkas  
Mickey Mouse emerged from the darkness.

"Fear not, libtard. I will rescue your croc," he declared in an enchanting voice. It wasn't your typical squeaky Mickey Mouse, he had a lustrously whiny robotic voice.

He plunged his arm into the girl's cleavage and swirled it around, grasping for the croc. He triumphantly tore the shoe from between her badonkadonks. Mystery Mickey Mouse Man held it above her towards Elon for him to grab. Elon, in a state of bliss from both this charming act of kindness and the weed up his buttocks, seductively took it from Mickey Mouse's hands, making sure to brush past his chummy thicc hands. With his other hand, he lit a roll of marie-juan and took a big puff of it. 

"Arigatou, Mickey-Chan," moaned Elon. The Mouse Man nodded his head indicating a silent acknowledgement of Elon's thankfulness. This brooding feel of subtextual gratefulness turned Elon on more than shoving weed rolls in his belly button.

As they revelled in this exchange with the girl still chained to the rails between them, they heard a gentle 'chugga chugga choo choo' approaching from the distance.

"CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO" ear-raped Thomas the Tank Engine, who had been rapidly zooming for the past five minutes but neither Elon nor Mickey Mouse had noticed because they were too damn horny. Horniness is the powerful drug of the working class. (People do use sex to avoid marital problems I wasn't saying tow rite that down but the worker of the elite oh ciara no stop wheeeeze are you one of those judges or something si ti true that you have to go and pee after you have sex apparently it's good to avoid an std is it just the guy or the girl well I don't know francisca they both have sex well rape is a thing but rape isn't very hygenic i suppose they probably don't take a shower or pee afterward but its not like you're cuddling in bed after sex like hold on I've gotta take a piss its not very romantic condoms are a thing tho condoms have a taste you know like they have flavours what do youexpect this is capitalism you're talking like nirali im talking the way I want to talk you are one he'll of a fast writer hesus like 999 words is a lot but I thought you'd write her jésus shuddering intensifies you cant be straight, heterozsexual, a capitalist, a man, always listen to bachir wise idea oh ill be in it with pleasure)

They couldn't care less for the girl, but they didn't want to leave blood on the train tracks because they'd have to get the savage furries to go clean it up. Elon Musk didn't like doing that because last time when a kid fell off a rollercoaster and died he was on duty for chaperoning the cleaning furries. They were so barbaric they mauled him and Elon lost a nipple. 

Mickey Mouse lept onto the girl and began knawing through the chains with his bare teeth  
Mickey Mouse lept onto the girl and began knawing through the chains with his bare teeth. The sound of the clanging metal on his teeth was intriguing to Elon. It made him feel tingly. He stood there, watching his newfound mysterious admiree with his legs spread on either side of the big tiddied anime gal, feeling betrayed. He was infuriated and jealous of the girl. Why couldn't he be the one on the brink of death? It wasn't fair how they could be so kinky and Elon couldn't. He went out of his way to seduce Mickey Mouse, but what did that child do to deserve having Mickey Mouse ride her?

There was a loud bang as she was released. Seconds before the train passed, Mickey Mouse and the child lept out of the way of the train and into safety. Thomas the Tank Engine speeded over the haggard remains of the chains on the track. As wheel after wheel passed over a link of the chain, sparks flew through the air. 

"RUN!" yelled Mickey Mouse. The three sprinted as far as they could from the fire. They could picture the flames roaring behind them. After running a kilometre without looking back in utter fear, the three finally stopped as they deemed it far enough. Panting, they turned around. There was no fire. The entire park had been made anti-flammable and indestructible because of the terrorist bombing incident a while back. Also because many of the children had made a habit of stealing the employee's cigarettes and were not experienced in putting up their asses and would drop them on the floor, often resulting in forest fires. When Elon looked back in the direction of his companions when the realization of safety set in, they were gone.


	2. Legs Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the story with special edited illustrations on Wattpad here https://www.wattpad.com/997078595-disneyland-closes-legs-open-elon-musk-x-ben

Elon Musk walked home drearily after the fiasco, distraught at the blatant treachery of the man he had eyes for. Oh, how he wished to know who was under that Mickey Mouse head! When he arrived home, he closed his eyes for momentary peace and fell asleep on the toilet.

He woke up to the cool touch of defecation contacting his sensitive anus. He looked down between his legs and realized he sleep-pooped again. There was a massive tower of fecal matter beneath him. The cold moist touch made him shiver in discomfort and slight arousal. Being reminded of his one true love, the Masked Mickey Mouse, his eyebrows raised in alarm and he got up and sprinted to get cleaned up and ready to find Mickey. Elon set off for another workday promptly.

There wasn't much to do being an anime maid at Disneyland and the pay was less than generous, so Elon, of course, had to find a side job  
There wasn't much to do being an anime maid at Disneyland and the pay was less than generous, so Elon, of course, had to find a side job. Inevitably, Elon was a prostitute.

Elon arrived in the early morning to the empty park. He liked to get there before opening time so he would not have to worry about his manager, Putin, catching him. Not because his manager would not approve, but because his manager would be an over-eager client. Putin was a filthy man and Elon wanted nothing to do with him. Putin drooled over Elon every workday. This was likely why Elon was hired. If Putin were to find out about his business, he would take advantage of it and Elon would not be able to take being penetrated by communist scum so avidly and frequently.

He headed towards the meeting point, one of his personal favourites, the Spinning Teacups ride. There was a little more riding going on in that ride than people imagined. Elon strolled through the park, curious as to whether or not Mickey Mouse would show up. He had heart and penis palpitations every time he saw someone dressed up as a mouse. He even accidentally threw himself at the person in the Remy costume because he often confused Ratatouille with Mickey Mouse as a kid since he used to jerk off to both at the same time.

He even accidentally threw himself at the person in the Remy costume because he often confused Ratatouille with Mickey Mouse as a kid since he used to jerk off to both at the same time  
Elon finally arrived at the Spinning Teacups ride. He turned on the ride (and himself) and went into one of the teacups. He decorated it with rose petals and dildos hanging like Christmas lights. He plugged in a speaker playing Jesus by Trisha Paytas on loop. He put on his best seductive pose and sat in the teacup and waited for his prey.

Eventually, a familiar face arrived for the arrangement.

The girl from the last night who attempted to steal Mickey Mouse from Elon was the one who had commissioned him. Elon was appalled.

He trudged through it, rocking his hips back and forth, back and forth, exhaustedly. He just wanted it done. All that occupied his mind was Mickey Mouse. It was only tolerable at first, but motion by motion, jerk by jerk, it became insufferable. The Mouse of Mystery shrouded his mind space and he could no longer take it.

"NO." The coitus came to a halt. "OUT. SHOO! SHOO!"

The girl was alarmed and shook. She did not move from her spot in fear. Consciousness set back in as she cried;

"Please, no! For the motherland!" she began to vehemently twerk as the speakers started blasting the USSR anthem ear-rape featuring Elmo and Britney Spears. 

A realisation set in. Elon Musk recognized this ass motion. The distinct shape laid out by the jiggling buttocks was immediately recognizable. His eyes were wide in shock. He was absolutely flabbergasted. He grabbed her shoulders and spun her around violently. Elon took one arm off her shoulder and reached for her face. He grabbed her forehead and pull back to reveal her true identity.

He grabbed her forehead and pull back to reveal her true identity  
"V-Vladami Putineko-chan?" stuttered Elon.

The face Elon had revealed then turned to outrage. Putin was infuriated that he had been discovered. He screeched multiple Russian profanities while Elon patiently awaited him to stop spewing so much spit all over his face that Putin ran out of saliva and spat blood with his words. He also didn't hesitate to throw out a "capitalist scum" and "bourgeois pig" here and there. The amount of blood being choked out of him was fatal, he gagged and coughed as gently lowered to the floor. The end for him was near.

"A-all I wanted was your pp-" he forced out of his scorched throat. "I was able to hold it in- but last night- I watched you fall for the Mouse Man- and I could no longer take it-". The poor man wheezed every word. "I wanted to make you jealous. I wanted you to feel how I felt. I couldn't take knowing that you'd suck mouse pp and not glorious Soviet pp."

At this moment, Elon shed a tear. He realized that he always loved Putin. It was his internalized commiphobia. He always felt guilt on some level for being one of the greatest profiteers of capitalism who ever lived, knowing pure men like Putin who not only fought for power but strived for ultimate equality. 

Although his heart was still set on Mickey Mouse, he had a soft spot for Putin. 

"Watashi- I- Putineko-chan- I love you," Elon whispered as he gently caressed Putin's cheek, his face right above the astoundingly bald man. A tear dripped from his cornea to his jaw and flew down aiming right at Putin. Putin stuck out his tongue to catch it and swallowed it.

"I always knew you did." He breathed his final breath and closed his eyes indicating he had completed this wild ride he called life.

Although Putin didn't say 'I love you' back and never will, Elon was still satisfied with coming to terms with this chapter in his life.

Knowing Putin peacefully passed in his arms, this gave Elon the strength to independently look after the duties one must tend to when one passes. Putin had no one else in his life. He sacrificed his selfish needs and wants for the benefit of others. He made himself less equal so the others may be equal. He gave his life for the life of others. It was up to Elon to look after the ashes.

Elon may keep the ashes, but that will never disregard that they are our ashes.


End file.
